Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
