dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
whose parrot is this?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
