whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
