Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
