dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
