she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Randomize
