when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
