I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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