So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
