ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
