He had one of those small greek statue penises
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
