you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
you have to choose: penises or morals?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
