just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
