College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
