she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
