You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
did i just pee glitter
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
