I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
