Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
