finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
