I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you would pick up someone in the library
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
