i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
