So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
