Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
