he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
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