I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
