i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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