You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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