It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
ttyl tear gas
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
