i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
