We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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