Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
