So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
