As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
