I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
