I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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