Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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