So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
