I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
