Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
