one two three fourrrrnication!
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
This house was built for laser tag.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
