More tranny stories later!
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
