Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
