Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
it's like iHOP with fire
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
