I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
