Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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