Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
We have so much sex to catch up on
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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