Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
