The maid of honor just puked.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
