I am puke
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
