I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
