DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
